Jul 21, 2007

Alone for the First Time

It's the first time I've been ALONE since the news of the baby's death. Since the miscarriage on Thursday morning (long story involving a hospital ER visit). Without anyone here.

And so far, I'm okay. The kids are vacationing for a week with the grandparents, sans parents, and Hubbers went to a movie with a buddy. (I didn't feel like seeing Transformers.) I'm home, cleaning up a bit but taking it easy since I'm technically on bedrest for another day, sewing, running laundry. And it's okay.

I feel at peace. A bit saddened but nothing unbearable. The nights are worse than the days. I think of the baby often and feel badly that he will never get to see this world. I know that I really feel bad for me, since he's in a much better place, but he was and is my child.

We will have the remains blessed and will then find a quiet spot to bury him.

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