The Awakening Bond

Fried Okra asks today in a very poignant post about when her awakening bond with the baby she carries occurred. Megan related her experiences to songs and asked about what song symbolized MY bond with my kids.

As far as I can remember, this happened with only one of my kids. I guess I just got too busy having more to take the time to relate our relationships to songs. But with Oldest Girl, it was this one that came out right after she was born. And now, 11 years later, it still makes me sniffle.

With Baby Bunting, it's like new awakening after every twist, roll, shuffle-step-kick that he does. Somehow it's like I forget, although I with my huge 32 week belly I don't know how I WOULD forget, but I do. Each and every movement he makes is a treasure trove for my heart. I take pleasure in his movements, even when they involve squishing my tiny bladder into near non-existence.

Is this from the loss of Michael? Maybe. Now, Michael just seems so far away, but I still find myself occasionally thinking of Bunting as Michael. I know that won't stay around after he's born, but it's a bit disconcerting, none-the-less. RooBoo prays for her lost baby brother every night, touchingly.

Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle, for your viewing pleasure... For the bond between me and my first baby.



What about you? What, if any, symbolizes YOUR bond?

Feeling Better

Honestly, I'm healing.

I'm feeling better.

I can think of Michael without crying.

Mostly.

RooBoo can't remember his name. She misses him and talks about him a lot. It touches them, too, which is so easy to forget in my own wallowing.

OldestGirl got very quiet when I spoke of wanting another baby.

CurlyGirl would love another baby.

TheBoy often asks me if I'm sad that our baby is in heaven. He's three, for heavens sake. How can he remember what happened 2 months ago?

God, is it really 2 months?

We added Michael to our family name button tree - his name and a guardian angel pin.

I'm healing.

I can see babies now without crying. I can see pregnant women without sadness.

I can hope again.

I'm charting my cycle.

I'm a lady in waiting.

Hear my prayer, merciful Lord.